We all have them — bad habits that we wish we didn’t have but felt pessimistic about changing. Maybe you know you really have to spend less time on Facebook or playing online games. Or perhaps you’ve tried a dozen times to quit smoking. Whatever habit you’re trying to break, somehow you haven’t found the key to success. Search no more. Bad habits can be broken. This video is not just mumbo-jumbo, but executable and proven neurobiology scientific way to change bad habit. Welcome to the 3rd lesson from Habit series.
Lack of control over bad habit leads to damaging self-esteem and self-image. But one thing we need to understand that it is not about lack of willpower or some moral failing on your part. ! It’s your neurobiology in action. you may sometimes experience a momentary relapse. If you do fall back into your old ways, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, mindfully pick yourself up. Treat yourself with compassion. And put into practice your new positive habit once again. When you quit the bad habit, you will think better of yourself and throw off guilt. Your self-respect returns. Self-satisfaction becomes the ultimate reward since you are doing something for yourself because you like yourself.
As Artistole once said,“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
As we learn golden rule of habit change from the previous lesson, we can’t completely extinguish bad habit but we can reshape it! Just by keeping Cue and reward same but only replacing bad habit routine with a good one. Kindly refer 2nd lesson
Sounds easy right, So sorry! It seems easy in theory but, there isn’t only one ready-made formula for changing habits same for everyone.
Individuals and habits are all different, Giving up cigarettes are different than curbing overeating, which is different from changing how you communicate with your spouse. What’s more, each person’s habits are driven by different cravings.
Which leads us to the second golden rule “ change of Habit demands exclusive approach: One needs to find out his own suitable way to change a habit.
As a result, this video doesn’t contain one prescription. Rather, we hoped to deliver something else: a framework for the experiment to find out your exclusive solution to change Habit. Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.
Identify the habit you want to change
Identify the cue
Experiment with rewards
Have a plan: Insert the new routine
let’s say you have a bad habit like I had before I read this book,
going to the cafeteria and buying a hamburger every afternoon. Let’s say this habit has caused you to gain an 8 pounds, and that your wife has made a few pointed comments. You’ve tried to force yourself to stop— you even went so far as to put a post it on your computer that reads “NO MORE hamburger”. But every afternoon you manage to ignore that note, get up, wander towards the cafeteria, buy a hamburger and, while chatting with colleagues around the cash register, eat it. It feels good, and then it feels bad. Tomorrow, you promise yourself, you’ll muster the willpower to resist. Tomorrow will be different. But tomorrow, the habit takes hold again.
How do you start diagnosing and then changing this behavior? By ﬁguring out the habit loop.
Step one is to identify the Habit you want to change.
For further steps, you’ll need to do a little experimentation.
Step two Identify the cue (a trigger that tells your brain to go into automatic mode.)
Experiments have shown that almost all habitual cues ﬁt into one of ﬁve categories:
Location, Time, Emotional State, Other People, Immediately preceding action.
one of these 5 things is the cue.
write down ﬁve things the moment the urge hits to eat a hamburger
Where are you? (sitting at my desk)
What time is it? (3:36 pm)
What’s your emotional state? (bored)
Who else is around? (no one)
What action preceded the urge? (answered an email)
The next day:
Where are you? (walking back from the copier)
What time is it? (3:18 pm)
What’s your emotional state? (happy)
Who else is around? (Jim from Sales)
What action preceded the urge? (made a photocopy)
The third day:
Where are you? (conference room)
What time is it? (3:41 pm)
What’s your emotional state? (tired, excited about the project I’m working on)
Who else is around? (editors who are coming to this meeting)
What action preceded the urge? (I sat down because the meeting is about to start)
Three days in, it was pretty clear which cue was triggering my hamburger habit—I felt an urge to eat at a certain time of day. I had already ﬁgured out, that it wasn’t hunger or other cue driving my behavior. And the habit, I now knew, was triggered between 3:00 and 4:00.
Step three EXPERIMENT WITH REWARDS
To ﬁgure out which cravings are driving particular habits, it’s useful to experiment with different rewards. This might take a few days, or a week, or longer. During that period, you shouldn’t feel any pressure to make a real change— think of yourself as a scientist in the data collection stage. Just be more conscious between 3 to 4 were a habit triggers.
On the ﬁrst day
of your experiment, when you feel the urge to go to the cafeteria and buy a hamburger, instead of walking to the cafeteria, do some Stretching and go outside, walk around the block, and then go back to your desk without eating anything. Is the craving gone? No
The next day,
go to the cafeteria and buy a donut, or a candy bar, and eat it at your desk. Is the craving gone? No
The next day,
go to the cafeteria, buy an apple, and Then, try a cup of coffee. Is the craving gone? No
The next day,
Then, instead of going to the cafeteria, walk over to your friend’s ofﬁce and gossip for a few minutes and go back to your desk. Is the craving gone? YES
Thats What you really craving
You get the idea. What you choose to do instead of buying a hamburger isn’t important. The point is to test different hypotheses
Are you craving the hamburger itself, is it because you’re hungry? (In which case the apple or donut should work just as well.
Or is it because you want a break from work? (In this case going outside walking should work)
or are you wandering up to the cafeteria as an excuse to socialize, and the hamburger is just a convenient excuse? Yes. that’s why just walking to someone’s desk and gossiping for a few minutes satisfied the urge.
Step four Have a plan: Insert the new routine
Now that you have identified the Cue and Reward, Insert the “New Routine”
The activity that triggered by the old cue and delivered the same reward !
By using this framework, I learned that my cue was roughly 3:30 in the afternoon. I knew that my routine was to go to the cafeteria, buy a hamburger and chat with friends. And, through experimentation, I had learned that it wasn’t really the hamburger I craved. rather, it was a moment of distraction and the opportunity to socialize.
Put another way, a habit is a formula our brain automatically follows: So, I wrote a plan:
“At 3:30, every day, I will walk to a friend’s desk and talk for 10 minutes which give me break from work and opportunity to socialize”.
I forced myself to walk to a friend’s desk and chat for 10 minutes—I found that I ended the workday feeling better. I hadn’t gone to the cafeteria, I hadn’t eaten a hamburger, and I felt ﬁne. Eventually, it got to be automatic, I found a friend and ended the day feeling a small, but real, sense of accomplishment. After a few weeks, I hardly thought about the routine anymore. And when I couldn’t ﬁnd anyone to chat with, I went to the cafeteria and bought tea and drank it with friends.
That all happened about six months ago. I don’t have my watch anymore— I lost it at some point. But at about 3:30 every day, I absentmindedly stand up, look around the newsroom for someone to talk to, spend 10 minutes gossiping about the news, and then go back to my desk. It occurs almost without me thinking about it. It has become a habit.
Obviously, changing some habits can be more difﬁcult. But this framework is a place to start. Sometimes change takes a long time. Sometimes it requires repeated experiments and failures. But once you understand how a habit operates, you gain power over it. But that’s still not everything. If we truly want to avoid backsliding into our old ways, there are simple hacks that will make this journey more efficient. Let’s discuss it in next lesson.
Tell us which habit you are going to reshape in the comment section? You can suggest us specifically so we can have a separate video on it. Pls subscribe and share among your love one’s to help them to change their bad habit.
Lack of control over bad habit is not about lack of willpower or some moral failing on your part. ! It’s your neurobiology in action.
Individuals and habits are all different, hence there isn’t only one ready-made formula for changing habits same for everyone. One needs to find out his own suitable way to change a habit.
The framework is a place to start. once you understand how a habit operates, you gain power over it.
Studies show that the easiest way to implement a new habit is to write a plan